Are You Angry at Someone Who is Sick? |
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| “What? Me? How could you even suggest such a thing?” | ||
| Who would want to admit that they felt angry at someone who was sick? Well, maybe it would be easier to admit to this and discuss it if you knew that this was a pretty typical reaction. | ||
| When we are around someone we love who is significantly emotionally or physically impaired due to chronic or acute illness and we cannot make the problem go away or stop our loved one’s suffering, it is very frustrating. No one likes to feel helpless and not be able to affect any positive changes to help remedy the situation. Watching helplessly as someone you love suffers makes us suffer, too. It is this pain that we get angry about and can easily take out on the one who is ill. | ||
| Without realizing it, we may show great intolerance to and irritation with a person’s limitations when they are sick. We expect to have our loved one back in full swing; normal again. When this does not happen, we lose a part of them. We don’t recognize that we are also losing something and we often blame the person who is ill. | ||
| It is so easy to hate a person for being weak, stuck, helpless, whiny, complaining, and unavailable especially if we fear being in or have already been in a similar situation. These circumstances and feelings are what we despise, not the person. | ||
| If you recognize that, you have been unfairly rude, intolerant, or pushy with someone who is ill, talk about the anger you feel about the unfairness of the situation. Express your feelings of being helpless and not knowing what to say or do. Ask the person how you can help. Recognize what is in your control to change and what is not. Work to accept this. | ||
| No one likes to feel helpless and needy of others. When someone we love is sick, you and that person both likely feel helpless and needy of one another. Neither one of you are at fault. Just put the feelings on the table and make the disease or illness the “bad guy” and blast it, not each other! | ||
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This article was written by Dr. Laurel A. Sills, a Fully Licensed Clinical Psychologist (since 1987) and Life Coach. She provides direct, down-to-earth, short-term therapy with long-term results. She is passionate in her work and will help you stay motivated to change your life with regular commitment to changing habits in thinking and behaving. See her website at: www.DrLSills.com or www.BuildAStrongerYou.com |
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Copyright 2006© Laurel A. Sills, Psy.D. All rights reserved Back to Articles |